The Final Frontier

Today I venture where no man should ever have to and no, I’m not talking about the Delta Quadrent.  I shall brave into the unknown territory of a land called “New Jersey.”  What I’ll find and what dangers lurk are unknown.  I’ve only been warned of a strange sub-humanoid species that lives there drinking beer with their cut-off jean shorts and faded Rod Stewart t-shirts.  Also, there was something about flip-flops.

Puddle Crunching

New hobby:

Taking walks in the freezing cold and crunching the ice coats on puddles.  I love the sound of ice and snow.

The Penis Mightier

Have you ever looked DESPERATELY to find your pen, even sacrificing your incredibly cozy spot on the bed only to realize in the cold that it’s behind your ear?

I just did.

On the plus side, I’m designing me and Alex the sweetest bunk beds ever.

Friday night 40s

A week or so ago, Alex went out to 7eleven and was tasked with getting 40s for some of the guys in the house.  A short while later I get a text message “What’s a 40?” He came back with 24oz Heineken bottles.  He caught shit for this.

Tonight, several dudes came home with 40s of Olde English.  One of them, Chane, sat on the couch across from mine.  I say to him, “Hey, can I borrow that?” as I grab his bottle without waiting for a response.  He, of course, has no idea what my point is and doesn’t know how to react as I take his bottle of beer out of the room sans permission, swing around the corner and enlighten Alex.

Now Alex knows what a 40 is and I scared the crap out of a guy who thought I stole his booze.  Lul.

****BREAKING NEWS****

A metaphorical busload of people just knocked and walked through the door.  In all actuality it had to be a large SUV or 2-3 cars.  They were carrying 12 & 18 packs of beer.  They swarmed around the corner and within 2 minutes were gone.  WTF?  

Exactly one month

Exactly one month ago I was standing, shoeless in a jail cell. I was sober by then and kicking my own ass; but not too hard because the cops were assuring me that I’d be walking free by noon.

One month later I celebrate by doing the exact opposite of that fateful night’s transpirings: I’m dressed in 4 layers of clothing without having a drop of the sauce in my system and fully satisfied in the tummy region. The only similarity is that I’m a little sleepy.

I decided to take a stroll in the cool 10 degree morning to return a space heater that draws too much current and flips the breaker; Target however, is not open until 8 so I went for an often missed, most important meal (at McDonald’s). The snow that still lines the streets is crunchy when I step on it. I stomp on the frozen puddles in hopes of cracking ice without the fear of falling through into an icy tomb.

Life is good.

Bone Chiller

Here I am, up at 7am. Checking my weather forecast I see that it’s 24 degrees outside. And being the inquisitive type, I must see for myself. Shoes on, I step through the wood portal. My breath stays vaporized for several seconds, the heat is ripped from my body, and a bone chilling cold rushes in. 24 degrees is really fucking cold.

Tec Support!

Early this morning (by my standards) one of the guys in the house came in with his phone.  On the other end was Pressly, Alex’s roommate who owns a MacBook.  A couple weeks ago, I had helped Pressly setup bootcamp so he could use a few C.A.D. type apps but he didn’t have his Leopard disc and, thus, couldn’t finish the setup.  On the phone he has his Leopard disc but doesn’t know exactly what he needs to do with it.  I’m less than half conscious.  If you’ve never had the opportunity to speak with a Jamaican in person then there’s no way for you to understand how entirely confused I was.  It’s nothing like Cool Runnings, those guys are Winston-Fucking Churchill compared to actual Jamaicans.  The time is roughly 11 am, I went to bed shortly after 8.  I don’t know my ass from my elbow.  This should be fun.

Over the course of an eternity that lasts about a minute, I piece together what he’s asking by making wild stabs in the dark and listening to his response, positive or negative.  My mind races like a three legged dog chasing a duck. Windows! MacBook! I heard Windows and Macbook! Ok, uh…say Parallels. Nothing.  He said Bootcamp!  Oh yeah!  We setup a Bootcamp partition!  I thought we finished.  Oh Shit! Leopard Disc!!!1! PAY DIRT!  Just boot up under Windows and pop the Leopard disc in.  That’s it?  Yup.  Good to go.  Click.