Golden Arches

Alex and I are on a roadtrip to see my brother in Georgia. Left at five and by midnight we stop at a McDonald’s. The doors are locked, but being dudes we take a short wander over to the dumpster and, facing away from each other, take a piss. Of course right then, a car slowly drives by. Lul.

Epic Fail

 

Bike in a box FTL

 

 

Epic fails don’t happen too often but when you see one going on, it’s all you can do to not laugh hysterically.

 

I’m in Charlotte after a bus transfer and this guy is trying to bring his bicycle with so he’s boxing it up, problem is he didn’t take the front wheel off, or twist the handlebar, nothing. Under normal circumstances I would have helped but it was too damn funny watching him.

Next, once Epic Fail (that’s how I’ve begun refering to him) gets on the bus, he sits next me but someone tells him that there’s some unused handicapped seating that could be popped back so he could have an entire row to himself so, bless him, he tries his damndest but only gets as far as shaking the chairs in a hillariously failed attempt. To add insult to injury, the driver sees him on the tail end and yells at him bumping this fail up to epic proportions, lul.

Bus bus bus bus bus

So far as I’ve been able to acertain from 2 days of wandering, Atlanta sucks. I’m sure there’s lots of fun to be had if you go to the right places and are with the right people but, outside if the bar scene, I couldn’t find anyone worth talking to for a few minutes so I sent Alex a text message asking if I should go visit him in NYC or go to Chicago, the answer is obvious.

Now I wait at the Greyhound station for my 22 hour trip! Only about 17 are actual drive time. Stupid busses going the stupid speed limit. Check this out though: I’m going from Atlanta, Ga to Charlotte, Nc to Washington DC to NYC. Hooray adventure!!!!

Update:
The bus was overbooked so the lazy people who didn’t crowd around the door when it was first called, of which I am one, got kicked onto a second, nearly empty bus. There’s seriously less than 20 people on this bitch. Coming up on and probably soon to pass the 2 hour late mark, I’m going to see if I can work a free or at least reduced price ride on my next trip. I’m one of the lucky few, I’m not bound by time so it doesn’t really matter when I get to New York. And even if I don’t make it all the way to NYC, maybe I’ll make it to it second to last stop…Washington DC.

Update to my update:
On the road at 1:43am! Huzzah!!! Later Atlanta, only 1:57 behind!!!

Later Georgia

Due to Alyssa’s mom being WAY more of a hassle than it’s worth it’s looking like I’m cutting my Georgian stay even shorter than expected.  I’m chargin’ my batteries, taken a shower, then calling a cab to take me into Atlanta, it’s about 20miles, so I think I’ll avoid walkin’ that one.  Wish me luck!

Crash course in Georgia driving.

Murphy’s law states that everything that can go wrong, will.  This law has seemingly dictated more than it’s fair share of events in my life, especially recently.  It makes for great stories and adventure out the wazoo but damn if it isn’t irritating sometimes when you just want things to go smoothly.

 

Sunday: Alyssa was going to watch Formula 1 racing with a friend of hers so she lets me and Ben borrow her car, since I’m the one with a license…I’m driving. We decide to head back to her house as my brother’s cat is outside still and its probably about time we brought him in.  Three turns in, we’re lost.  WOW are we lost, we end up in a place where I was only getting one bar of signal so even my iPhone couldn’t triangulate where we were.  Ben get’s the brilliant idea to just input the address of one of the houses we’re in front of to get directions back home.  This would’ve worked except for the fact that we’re not in Marietta anymore, we don’t actually know which city/town we’re in but we make it to a gas station as we’re almost out of gas.  I get enough signal to hit the ‘current location’ dealie on google maps and get directions to Alyssa’s house; of course we get lost again in the process but we eventually get back.  Now Alyssa doesn’t have internet at her house so Ben and I head over to the Dunkin Donuts which has free wifi, woo hoo!  We screw around on the internet for a while, ben get’s pissed off at McCain.  And we eventually head back to her house for a promisingly uneventful night.

Now on the flight into Georgia I had originally booked a window seat but some bitch was sitting there and the guy she was with was all, “We really want to sit together,” to which I was just thinking to myself “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SEAT BITCH!!!!” but I rolled with it and took her seat on the other side of the aisle in the fucking middle.  In the middle of the goddamn night the fat dude in the window seat decides that he has to pee so me and the guy in the aisle seat have to get up.  Since I’m just gonna have to get up again to let the douchbag back into his window seat I just hang out in the back of the plane, one of the flight attendants is chatting it up with some people so I go see what’s up and have a conversation that last pretty much the rest of the flight.  Turns out the flight attendant is also an Atlanta city cop.  He’s pretty cool dude, gave me his card and told me to let him know if I get in a bind.  At any rate, I get a text message from him on this particular Sunday night asking if I want to come into the city to which I’m always game.

I get the name and address of the place and directions, also cleared it with Alyssa so that when she needs to get picked up I’ll get her.  I got lost about 3 times trying to get into the city and eventually drive past the place.  I parked in this public garage below colony square and climbed the stairs to figure out where the hell I was in relation to my goal, turns out I’m only about a mile away so I decide to walk it.  A couple hours go by and Alyssa gives me the address to the place she’s at only moments before her phone dies.  Ken gives me a ride back to ma’ car which is on a hidden level of the garage that is somehow up a level but still below the ground…go figure.  I eventually get going but I lost the little card thing that says how long I’ve been in the garage, bye bye $16 regardless of the fact that the night maximum is $7. Whatever, I had a good night.

About step 8 or 9 of the directions I missed a turn and am now completely lost so I pull into a gas station to regroup.  Oh no, my iPhone is dead…  I called Ben to get Alyssa’s number for some reason unknown to me since shortly after I get her number I realize that her phone is dead too.  I get in the car and just start driving and luckily my memory kicks in when I see the I-85 sign and the path back to Alyssa’s house lights up in my head, it’s gonna take longer to get her but at least I know I can get there and from there I can get my iPhone charged enough and get her.  Success!! The route to here friend’s house is actually super easy.  I eventually get her in the car and start driving until about half way there it turns out that she has a cracked tail light, blue lights at 2am.  I almost got Alyssa thrown in jail because I made an alcohol related comment completely forgetting that she’s 20, whoops. We get off with a warning and make it back.

At least I know how to get back to Alyssa’s house from anywhere in Georgia…

Sedona

Went to Sedona today as an extremely belated birthday trip for my mom. My mom, brother, and I were supposed to hike around in oak creek canyon but we got rained on so we went to Jerome instead! Pretty town built on a hillside, if you plan on going up to the Flagstaff or Sedona areas I’d recomend hitting Jerome. Now I have to hit a birthday party, but first there’s another hour of driving. Last road trip I’ll take for a while with my mom, at least we had a good time.